Quest for Consumption(a song i just wrote)

alright, this took my like...less than 4 minutes i would say, but it was fun writing it. tell me what you think! :)
Quest for Consumption


(verse)
Apples and Bananas!
All we wanted was this
temporary bliss
but little did we know
BUT LITTLE DID WE KNOW!

(chorus)
Run for your life
dont look back
this is it
that damned apocalypse!

(verse)
we get to our destination
only to find inside
that what we were looking for
is no different than their flesh!

we quickly take our leave
but it seems we were trespassing
the verdict
consumption!

(chorus)
Run for your life
dont look back
this is it
that damned apocalypse!

(bridge)
im out of breath
i try to hide
torn to shreds
they eat my insides!

(chorus)
Run for your life
dont look back
this is it
that damned apocalypse! Quest for Consumption(a song i just wrote)
Could be good, needs a little work in my opinion.Quest for Consumption(a song i just wrote)
[QUOTE=''69ANT69'']Could be good, needs a little work in my opinion.[/QUOTE]



like what

this is just lyrics to a song for my screamo/mathcore band. but please give me suggestions